Category Archives: Healthcare

Things My Mother Taught Me

Parents: they bring us into the world, then spend the next 18 plus years feeding us, clothing us, and trying their best to keep us from doing stupid things and killing ourselves.  There’s no other way to put it, kids are often pretty stupid…at least until their teen years, then they’re always stupid.  Without someone to guide them, kids would be walking into walls and falling off cliffs every day.  When you’re growing up, your mom and dad are always on duty, watching practically every move you make to ensure your well-being.  It’s a 24-hour job, no breaks, no weekends, no holidays.

Though they remain vigilant the majority of the time, there are always those moments when parents have to take their eyes off their children for a short time.  I mean, even a mom has to go to the bathroom sometimes.  For these rare, unsupervised moments, parents have to develop “temporary babysitters.”  These temporary babysitters are a technique employed by parents to use our own brains to speak for them in their absence. We’ve all encountered a temporary babysitter at some point in our lives.  A form of mind control our mom and dad plant in our head to keep us out of trouble.  Every parent has their own temporary babysitting tactics, and some of them are unique to say the least.

The following are some temporary babysitting gems used by my mother during my childhood:

  • Don’t cross your eyes, they’ll get stuck that way.  A fairly common phrase among parents, this was my mom’s way of making sure my facial expressions remained socially acceptable at all times–even when she wasn’t around.
  • Don’t swallow the seeds or you’ll sprout a watermelon in your stomach.  My mom used this one when I was four, and I still remember it vividly because it frightened me so much. I didn’t need to worry about watermelons that day, my mom had sown her own terrible seed–a seed of pure fear! Her timing of this particular warning was uncanny, because she told me “just look at what happened to your aunt because she swallowed a watermelon seed.”  My aunt was eight months pregnant at the time.  I haven’t eaten watermelon since.
  • Don’t peek under the tree on Christmas Eve night or all your gifts will disappear.  Obviously Santa was magic or he couldn’t deliver all those gifts in one night, so the idea of my gifts magically disappearing as fast as they had appeared seemed plausible to my young mind.  Peeking was strictly prohibited because in my house, Santa never wrapped his gifts.  He just left my gifts by the Christmas tree.  Mom and dad wrapped theirs so I could tell my gifts from them apart.  An awful lot of trouble to go through just to give a fat, bearded stranger the credit.
  • The Boogey Man lives under my bed and he’ll snatch you if you get up during the night.  My mom didn’t use this particular gem.  In fact, she was furious when she found out about it.  My dad’s mother is responsible for this one. When I was very young and would spend the night, she’d let me sleep in bed with her because she had no night lights in her bedrooms and I didn’t want to be by myself.  In order to keep me from getting up and down all night and keeping her awake, she made sure a terrifying, child-snatching monster lived under her bed. That one really must have struck a chord, because to this day I sometimes feel a brief rush of fear whenever I have to get up in the middle of the night or notice my closet door is open.
  • Don’t pick your nose or your brain will fall out.  Unique to say the least, this was how my mom kept my nose-mining at bay. Apparently picking your nose stretches out your nostrils until they’re so big your brain will just fall right out of your head through your nose.  Nothing bogus about that at all!
  • Eat your vegetables or your hair will fall out and you’ll turn purple.  Because apparently skipping my broccoli would result in a terrible case of scurvy. Pass the peas please!
  • Don’t bite your fingernails, you’ll get worms!  This is the phrase I remember most. My mom was constantly warning me about the hazards of biting my nails. Get a load of her explanation: When you play outside, dirt gets under your fingernails. The dirt contains dry worm eggs that, once they hit the moisture in your stomach, will hatch.  When I bit my nails, I swallowed some of the worm egg-infested dirt. What my mom didn’t know was that I wasn’t biting my nails when she’d correct me. I was terrible about biting the cuticle and all the skin around my nails.  I rarely, if ever, bit a fingernail. Her terrifying story about the life cycle of a parasitic worm, however, would cause me to panic every time I accidentally ended up with dirt in my mouth.  Happened a lot on a dry, windy day.  I’d be playing outside, then feel that disgusting gritty feeling in my mouth after a big gust of wind. My heart would drop out of my chest and I’d get tingly from head to toe. A sudden burst of adrenaline at the mere thought of accidentally ingesting a worm egg in all that dirt.

You have to hand it to her.  Even if she didn’t have an ounce of medical knowledge to back up her claims, she would still come up with her own elaborate explanation to ensure I didn’t doubt a word she said. Moms: Using deception as a childcare aid since always.

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Surgery Accomplished

I can already tell this is going to take an eternity to type from my iPad, but that’s the only source of internet I brought to the hospital so I’ll have to make do.

First of all I am glad both one and @MissRaeMcNally’s surgeries went well and are now behind us! It’s so nice to have such a frightening event in your past rather than your future.

As as for my surgery, it went as well as it could considering the problems I have.  There were no complications and the severe nerve pain that radiated down my legs as a result of pressure on my nerves from herniated lumbar spine discs is gone.  I have no more leg pain whatsoever.  That’s an encouraging sign that my surgery was mostly successful! The only pain I’m experiencing is incision pain and bone pain from where the surgeon had to clip and saw off parts of my vertebrae.  Doing that takes pressure off the nerves.  She also had to remove disc fragments that were extruded when the discs herniated. Gross stuff, but that’s how it went down.

Due to my history, the doctors are taking extra precautions with me. Most patients who undergo this same surgery go home the next day.  Since I had this procedure 3 months ago and developed a hematoma and postoperative infection, I have to stay until Monday to keep drains in the incision site and to undergo large doses of IV antibiotics to try to prevent that from happening again.  I will also go home on strong oral antibiotics.

My surgeon warned me that due to the severity of my spinal degeneration, my pain my not be totally eliminated…now or ever.  The leg pain being gone does give me hope that it will br at least improved a great deal.  The previous degeneration and new bone removal means I will probably need a lumbar spinal fusion in the future. First discussions of this put the timeframe of fusion at ten years, but with the new bone removal it puts it at more like 3 to 5 years. She is going to do all she can to help me go as long as possible without the fusion because fusions are very painful and severely limit mobility.

I’ve reached the notorious second and soon third postoperative day, so my pain is worse and will probably be bad for a few days, but I know of experience that will ease more and more with each passing day.  So that’s the story for now. I’ll post some more experiences after I go home tomorrow

The Inevitable Has Been Scheduled

I’ve known for a while that surgery was unavoidable, but it’s been easy to put it out of my mind since it wasn’t scheduled and no concrete plans had been made.  Today that changed, and my surgery was scheduled.  I knew it would happen yet I am still apprehensive.  I’ve had several surgeries in my life, but never so many surgeries back-to-back.  This will be surgery number 3 since the end of May.  Hoping this will be the last one…at least for a while.  I am just thankful things aren’t worse.  I know there are many people who can’t walk now due to a spine injury, and people who have endured 10-15 surgeries in the span of a year.  When you look at those people, it’s easier to put your own problems into perspective.  While things are not good for me, they could definitely be worse.  And maybe this surgery will enable me to go back to work (in an administrative job–patient care is no longer an option), and help me to be able to walk without excruciating pain.

The surgery will be November 4 and, despite my discontent, I will not be the first case of the day.  Usually i try to be first on the schedule when I have surgery because I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks are not uncommon for me when I am waiting for surgery.  With there being a surgery before mine, the odds of my surgery starting at the scheduled time is very unlikely.  Hopefully I’ll manage.  I’m nervous, because I was a surgery nurse and I know what can happen…I also know that the odds are very small, but the fact that it’s possible makes me uneasy.  “It” being heart attack, stroke, blood clots, etc.  Scary business.  I’m also at increased risk for infection due to having a previous postoperative infection in the same place a few months ago.  That’s scary too.  There will be numerous precautions taken, but the possibility remains real.

The specifics are this…this surgery will be the biggest surgery I’ve ever had except for the spinal cord surgery I had at eight years of age.  My surgeon will be operating on two different vertebral disks, one which has never been operated on before and one that she worked on last time.  She is having to do a revision on the disk she worked on last time because–in effort to keep treatment conservative due to my young age–she didn’t take out as much bone to decompress the nerves as she could have.  She didn’t do anything wrong, it was just a chance she took and it turned out unsuccessful.  She said she will not be conservative on the new disk and will do all necessary to decompress the nerves at that level.

After surgery I will spend at least two days in the hospital, possibly more, depending on my condition.  She said I should be in there much longer but these days insurance companies dictate how long a person stays in the hospital, not the discretion of a physician.  I just love that bureaucrats with no medical training dictate how much treatment I’m entitled to receive.  Not the best scenario, really, but that’s how it’s been as long as I can remember.  I know my surgeon won’t let me out of her sight unless she’s confident I’m ready.

After I’m released from the hospital, I’ll begin a long recovery period.  The typical recovery is around eight weeks, which will take me through the new year.  Me being atypical and a serial surgery and postoperative infection patient, however, may lead to a longer than average recovery time…I could be recovering for twelve weeks or more before I’m back to a semi-normal state.  While that is daunting, I’m just ready to have this behind me and *hopefully* on my way to returning to a regular, fulfilling life!  I’ve been writing some for working, but it’s not the same for me.  I wouldn’t mind writing for a living, but I want to do it as a full-time employee of a company, not on a freelance basis as I am now.  I want to have a regular job where I’m working 8+ hours a day again.  I want to feel useful again.  This spending 80 percent of my life in my house unable to go out is not working for me.  I am ordinarily a very adventurous person and I have a need to constantly be on the go.  I get cabin fever after a couple of days at home, so these last few months have been torture!  I’m ready to be independent and able to live my life on my terms again!

Hopefully this surgery will be the first step in that direction.  A person has to take a risk to reap a reward, and that’s what I’m doing now.  The chance of the benefit outweighs the risks involved in this surgery, so full steam ahead.  Bring it on and hopefully I’ll be feeling well enough to start living life again soon!

Day 2 In The Continuing Journey…

So, I heard from Ebony, Dr. McCarthy’s nurse today.  She was calling with the date for my epidural steroid injection.  It’s been scheduled a week later than Dr. McCarthy wanted, thus pushing progress on my surgery back by another week.  I’m not thrilled about this.  The further it’s pushed back, the longer I have to live in constant fear and dread of the surgery.  It also means living in pain another week.  Plus, the more the surgery is pushed back, the closer the surgery will be to Thanksgiving.  I was really hoping to be back to a semi-normal state by Thanksgiving, since we have family coming in and it’s really the beginning of my favorite time of year.  I didn’t want to be inhibited or incapacitated for Thanksgiving, as I usually do a lot of the cooking.  I do that because I love it!  I love all the cooking and preparing for Thanksgiving, and I really don’t want to be forced into a sideline seat due to surgery.

My mom was also hoping to have my help with the cooking,  as the majority of the cooking responsibilities fall on her.  I don’t want her to be stuck with the majority of the work this year.  The main reason, though, is of course to not spend Thanksgiving in pain.

The pain today was pretty bad, but tolerable.  The medication I’m taking is helping pretty well.  The only problem is, it’s a narcotic and I really don’t want to depend on narcotic pain relievers to ease the back pain. Unfortunately nothing else has helped so far, as we’ve tried practically every anti-inflammatory medication there is.  I’ve also taken several rounds of steroids all to no avail.  That’s another reason I’m ready to get this surgery behind me in hopes it will lead to not needing to rely on pain medication of any kind just to get through the day.

Just an Update

Since the tone of my last post was pretty depressing, I didn’t want to have the first thing readers see when they visit my blog to be something of a negative nature.  I decided to post something a little more positive to make my blog a more enjoyable read.  I’ve been pretty sick lately due to complications from my recent spine surgery, so I only have a few things to update on–but they’re pretty big!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have unfortunately developed some complications from my spine surgery in May.  The surgical incision failed to close, leaving an open wound on my back over my spine.  This made for a very dangerous situation due to the risk of infection.  I have since had surgery to close the wound, cultures were taken to determine what, if any, bacteria were infecting my wound, and have received treatment.  The cultures revealed very little bacteria, meaning if I had an infection, it was just beginning.  My doctor did find that I had a hematoma, which is a pooling of blood beneath the surface of the skin.  Left untreated, the hematoma would be a breeding ground for bacteria and infection.  She drained that, cleaned up the surrounding tissue, and closed the wound.

Speaking of closing the wound, she had to close it with the black nylon suture, the stereotypical “stitches” most non-medical people think of when they think of stitches.  (Today, most suture used in surgery is absorbed by the body after a certain period of time, usually just the right amount of time needed for the wound to close.)  The reason I was closed with non-absorbable nylon suture was because my doctor suspected the reason my incision failed to heal properly was because my body was allergic to the absorbable suture and attacked it.  This caused the suture to absorb much too quickly, she also suspects it is the cause of the major allergic reaction I suffered.

I’m not sure if the suture is the cause of the allergic reaction, because since my second surgery, I have again developed that same allergic inflammatory response though none of the suture in question was used.  So it’s a mystery.

So far my incision looks good and is staying closed.  I am still dealing with inflammation, swelling, and itching around the incision though.  That on top of the post-surgical pain (which is pretty intense) makes for a pretty uncomfortable situation for me.  I’m not going to let it get me down though.  Am I a little down and a little tired of being stuck indoors with nothing to do?  Yes.  The difference is I’m not going to let it consume my life anymore.  I may have it kind of tough right now, but there are millions of people in the world who have it far worse than I do.  I am just thankful I am alive, I can walk, and that–so far–I’m healing.

So now, I have a few more weeks of recuperation ahead of me, but my mom and I are determined to keep me active.  We plan on getting out of the house more this time, to help with the “cabin fever.”  It may be a bit painful to be active, but I’m tired of doing nothing but sit around, watch TV, surf the internet, and reading  I want to get outside the house, go to stores, go for scenic drives, things like that.  My mom says she will help me accomplish this (since I’m not permitted to drive until released by my doctor).

I was released from the hospital yesterday, making my stay in the hospital almost 5 days.  I can’t believe how sick I got and how quickly it happened!  I’m home now, though, taking today to kind of get adjusted to being home again, then tomorrow we plan on hitting it.  We will slowly start to increase my activities.  Tomorrow we will probably take a drive and maybe go shopping in a store or two.  One thing’s for sure, I won’t be spending another full day in the house!

I have been buying tons of amazing cosmetics at unbelievable prices, so I’m putting together a super fun cosmetic haul post for next time!  Until then, I hope everyone has a terrific week!

Can it get worse? YES.

Friday, June 21, 2:20 a.m.

Sitting here alone in my hospital room.  Yep, I’m back in the hospital exactly a month after my surgery.  Sleep isn’t really possible…too many loud sounds outside, strange noises inside, annoying noises in my room (IV pump), and constant interruptions (blood draws, nurse checks–which are good things, but not sleep inducing).  I got maybe an hour of sleep…I may still get more yet….but I know it won’t be a good, long, uninterrupted sleep!  Such is the life of a hospital patient.

I was readmitted to the hospital yesterday.  It was my four week post surgical check-up.  I was supposed to only have a three week checkup, but my surgical incision wasn’t healing properly, probably due to an allergy to the suture used to close it.  So I was sent home with instructions on how to dress it to promote healing and told to return in a week.  So I went back yesterday with my incision looking worse than before.  It took my doctor all of two minutes to decide to directly admit me from the clinic.  😦  With all the rush, it’s a miracle I remembered my computer to fill all the down time.  I am having another surgery today to try to clean the wound and either close it or do some other heinous treatment to promote healing.  I’m dreading it…A LOT.  I’m technically scheduled for 1:00 p.m. but that’s if everything runs on time–which if you’ve ever been in a hospital you know that never happens–and there is always the possibility of a cancellation which would move me up.  More than likely I’ll end up in surgery around 3:0o or 4:00 p.m.  And I can have nothing to eat or drink.  I’ve been NPO (nothing to eat or drink) since midnight and will remain that way until after surgery–whenever it may be.  😦

Normally, I can go without eating for quite a while no problem, but there is something about wanting what you can’t have.  The fact that I KNOW I can’t eat is making me so hungry I can’t stand it.  And I have at LEAST 11 hours to go unless that miraculous cancellation occurs.  Wish me luck, this is not gonna be a fun day.

Anyone Been Wondering What Happened to Me?

Probably not many, as many of my blog followers are also my twitter friends, Facebook friends, and mostly my Tumblr crew, but just in case you are just one of my honest-to-goodness blog followers who doesn’t fall into any of those other categories, I’ll attempt to get you up-to-speed on what’s been happening in the world of Brittany. The good and the bad!

First of all, a very exciting thing happened.  I am typing this very blog post from my brand new Acer Aspire computer.  My former computer, “Old Faithful,” my good ol’ Toshiba satellite computer, finally bit the dust.  I will admit, I was devastated.  That computer stocked full of copies of my articles and other stories, as well as thousands of photos from my Barbara Stanwyck and Carol Burnett photo collections, and a rather substantial collection of gifs I’ve made over the past couple of years.  I’m hoping the computer isn’t too far gone to prevent me from saving these items.  Most, if not all, of my gifs are also on Tumblr, retrieving them will be a challenge but doable  Anyway, the old Toshiba died on Monday.  Then on Tuesday I got a weird email notifying me that I had a package on the way via FedEx.  I hadn’t ordered anything, so I had no idea what it could be.  All I knew was that it was being shipped from Allen, Texas and that the package weighed 9 pounds.  After a little investigation, I finally found an email in my junk folder notifying I was one of five winners of a new computer for  an article contest I had entered quite a while ago. I had forgotten all about it!  Then literally the day after my computer died, I got word I was getting a brand new one, FREE!  This computer is great, has tons of storage space, and is a lovely silver color!  There are only a few things I’m having to get used to:  the keyboard.  The keys are spaced further apart than I’m accustomed to, significantly slowing my typing speed, but I know I’ll get used to it and improve…not to mention how much easier it’ll be to keep clean! It also has Windows 8.  I’m all about having the latest and greatest in software and operating systems, but I have to admit I am not a supporter or fan of Windows 8.  I’m getting more used to it, but I still don’t care much for it.  But hey beggars can’t be choosers!

Then Thursday I had a follow-up appointment with my doctor about my back injury obtained over a month ago at work.  Most know, but in case you don’t , I had to resign from my job at the end of April.  I was forced to after the injury because I was no longer able to shoulder the workload required as part of my job description.  Since my injury I’ve been seeing a spine specialist and I’ve had several tests and even an MRI to try to determine the best plan of action.  The MRI showed some of my lumbar discs were damaged, but not herniated.  Basically the scan was not great but didn’t show much.  All we had to go on was the MRI scan and the pain and other symptoms I had.  I had severe back and leg pain, leg weakness, and even fell three times due to my leg completely going numb without explanation.  My doctor and I were both puzzled because my MRI didn’t reveal any damage that should cause the symptoms I was having.  We both knew I had degenerative disc disease (hereditary) so we figured maybe my disease was making more the injury more painful and symptomatic than it would have been for the ordinary person.    My doctor decided that perhaps epidural steroid injections would be the best way to treat the swelling, and thus the pain, I was feeling.  And that was the beginning of the crazy roller-coaster I’ve been on the last month!

I was scheduled to have three steroid injections–injected via epidural (not fun AT ALL)–to be given in two week increments.  I was scheduled to see my spine doctor again after the injections to see if they had done any good.  Nope!  If anything, my back got worse as a result of the injections.  So Thursday I went back to the spine doctor for my follow-up.  Wednesday evening, the night before I was supposed to see the doctor again, I felt very uneasy. I had a bad feeling about the visit the next day and almost didn’t even want to go.  Of course, I was forced to go by my family.

So my doctor came in, asked me how my steroid injections had been helping, and could see immediately by the look on my face they hadn’t helped at all.  This concerned her, so she did another neurological exam to see if my injury was any worse.  It was.  I had practically lost the reflexes in both my legs and the doctor decided the only thing left to do was to do a sort of exploratory surgery, hopefully revealing the full extent of the problem and offering her a way to decompress the nerves in my spine causing the problems.  Due to losing the reflexes in my legs so rapidly and the fact that I had been falling, she wanted to do the surgery as soon as possible.  I was scheduled for the very next day, Friday.  I had the surgery and have been in a sort of fog since then from all the drugs and anesthesia.

Anyway, the surgery revealed the damage to its full extent.  I had actually broken a piece off one of my lumbar vertebrae and that piece of bone had been bouncing around in there messing things up.  It had also left me with a small fracture in the actual vertebrae as well.  That alone could be causing the pain.  It wasn’t all the surgeon found though, the nerves were so aggravated by the broken piece of bone that they were red and swollen where they exit the spine.  Some of them were crushed flat.  Anyway, this all explained the problems I had been having, but the doctor was puzzled as to why none of this had shown up on my MRI!  The only explanation was that the swelling could have impeded the view and prevented the scan from being accurate.

Either way, it was almost miraculous I was able to have my surgery so quickly.  Left untreated, I could have suffered permanent nerve damage, and even paralysis from the extent of my injuries.  The doctor was amazed I was still able to walk at all!  I was dead-set against surgery of any kind. I’ve had five surgeries in my lifetime (now six) and I did NOT want to go through another one.  But it’s amazing how much better I am already after the surgery.  The pain in my legs is gone completely and the strength in my legs is rapidly improving.  Honestly, the only problem I am experiencing now is the horrendous postoperative pain, which is to be expected!  It isn’t fun, I am in excruciating pain from the incision and swelling and all the nerve manipulation and bruising..  That will all go away in a few weeks though, and by then I should be back to normal!

The timing has all been so amazing.  An opening in the doctor’s surgical schedule, and it happened before I had accepted a new job, as I have been applying for them like crazy since resigning from my job!  Since resigning, I’ve been writing–what I’d like to do full time eventually–but applying for jobs to pay the bills in the insurance field that will pay will and still put my nursing degree to work.

I’m sure it’s hard to tell from reading this that I am a freelance writer and aspiring memoirist and novelist, but it’s true!  I’m just still full of anesthesia and pain medications that have left my brain a foggy pile of mush!!! What I’ve written makes perfect sense to me, but I’m sure it very well may be senseless to the average reader!  Bottom line:  I’ve had surgery, I’m healing up, and I’m getting better by the day.   Just looking forward to the day I feel back to my old self again.  I HATE this drugged up feeling for sure!

Hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend and that you all have a wonderful Memorial day!  Spend it with the ones you love and be sure to remember the real reason for this holiday.  Honor those who have died in service to our country or those who served our country, lived to return home and have since died.

Pulling An All Nighter

Well, I’m not sleepy in the least.  I have to get up for work in the morning but I can’t settle.  Too much going on in my head.  I had hoped this post would be a mass review of Martha Long’s 3rd-6th books (which were phenomenal, no surprise to me), but I can’t focus on getting it written.  I know what I want to say but can’t say it the way I want to.  I’m having major focus problems, no doubt due to back pain, hormones, blood pressure fluctuations  and the whole passing out at work thing that happened today. Yes, I passed out at work.  Started feeling dizzy and sweaty (diaphoretic)  in the middle of a procedure and was fortunately able to complete it.  I then excused myself to the bathroom where I got sick, dizzy, and fell forward giving myself a nasty knock on the head.  I’m feeling better now, but my brain is literally going a mile a minute.  Not to worry though, I’ll get the review finished, it should be my next post.  I have a lot to say about these amazing books, and I can’t wait to share with you all what a remarkable life Martha Long has led.  Her next book is out in September and I don’t know how I’m going to wait that long!  Fortunately I’ve found some other subjects I want to read about, and Carol Burnett’s book Carrie and Me: A Mother Daughter Love Story comes out April 9, so that should fill some of the time.  I although I already own the first edition, I am also eagerly awaiting the mass market edition of  Ma, I’ve Reached for the Moon An I’m Hittin The Stars to be released in May for reasons Martha knows ;).  But it’s only being released in the UK and Ireland.  I MUST obtain a copy of it.  How will I be able to do that?

Anyway, I thought I’d spend this time blogging about something else.  Vacation opportunities.  I have a friend, Melissa, who may be coming to visit me during my week off in May for a trip to see Little Rock and Dallas.  I haven’t shared this with anyone as it just developed about an hour ago.  We realized she could fly into Dallas relatively inexpensively and we are beside ourselves excited thinking about the possibility of her visiting the South and us having Barbara Stanwyck and Carol Burnett marathons.  Why can’t I have more friends like her who live close to me??  I was also able to find very inexpensive tickets to New York if I wanted to visit her instead.  I haven’t a lot of money, but I’m getting a tax refund and the price would barely put a dent in it.  Mom and Dad, I know you don’t think I should spend my money on a vacation, but I want to splurge just a LITTLE with it! I will still be able to pay for the things I need.  😉  I need something fun to happen, it’s been such a crazy, sad, stressful, overwhelming 6 months.  I need something to look forward to…

On yet another note, I’m afraid I’m going to have the arduous task of job hunting again.  My back has been injured yet again, and although I love where I work, I can’t continue working in patient care if I continue to injure my back.  My spine is sort of necessary for walking, functioning, etc.  It’s always been my worst nightmare to leave patient care and enter some kind of desk job/administrative position.  I have never had a desire to work in that branch of nursing but the reality is, it’s going to have to happen and soon.  I imagine I’ll need to talk to my boss soon.  They are probably fed up with me hurting myself and getting sick, losing loved ones and all the other horrible things that have happened in my short time working there.  I’m not sure what in the world I could do…or if I’ll even stay in nursing.  I’m very upset about this whole situation but am trying not to let it drag me into the pit of despair I seem to find myself in quite frequently lately.

So, anyway, be watching for my Ma series review coming soon.  I’m really looking forward to sharing it. 🙂