Want to know how you look? Try a mirror. It’s the fastest, most up-to-date way to find out what you look like! If we’re Facebook friends, the odds are I already know what you look like and don’t really need a daily reminder.
I was scanning my Facebook newsfeed the other night, thanks to my ever-present insomnia, and was bombarded with the attack of the selfies. Granted, everyone posts a selfie once in a while, but some people just take it to the extreme! I have one Facebook friend in particular who is incredibly proud of how she looks. We are just acquaintances, not friends, we met through a mutual friend at a party and she pops up from time to time when I’m with friends. As I scrolled down my newsfeed, I saw selfie after selfie after selfie of this woman. I started to think and realized not a single day goes by I don’t see at least one picture of this girl on my feed. Curious, I clicked on her profile. She had ten selfies for every one non-photo post. She is constantly clogging up my feed with pictures of her face! She isn’t an ugly person, don’t get me wrong, but she isn’t exactly model material. She obviously thinks she is the most beautiful thing to ever grace planet Earth–she definitely doesn’t have a self-confidence problem! It just bothers me because she is rather arrogant and treats everyone as inferior to herself. She has enormous swollen-looking lips because she’s addicted to botox injections. She wears about two inches of makeup, always has bright red lipstick and raccoon eyes thanks to the gobs of eyeliner she wears daily. I just don’t want to look at that day after day! So, I hid her from my feed. Ha.
Another bothersome thing about selfies is that ridiculous pouty-lip face all the kids (and some non-kids) are doing. I guess they think it’s pretty to look like a friggin duck. 99% of selfies are duck-faced young people with a hand on the hip, butt sticking out. News flash: you don’t look sexy, you look like an idiot. If you want to post a picture of yourself, look LIKE YOURSELF! You don’t walk around platypus-faced! When you smile or laugh at something, you don’t do it with your lips stuck out!
Then there’s the classic photo taken in the bathroom mirror. Again, the girls do the hand-on-hip, butt-stuck-out, duck-faced moron pose, and the guys like to do the shirtless photo, muscles (or lack thereof) flexed. If you’re so desperate to show off your gorgeous self, try asking someone else to take the photo for you? Seeing a picture of a person standing in the same place people take a crap doesn’t exactly scream sexy.